absolutely one of those days

Dear Diary,

Tonight I’m all dressed up with no place to go. I’ve been in a total funk and have been trying, and failing miserably, to snap out of it.

I dolled myself up this evening and tried to get a fun evening started up and just got shot down by several people, including my husband.

A little back-story. I’m having a horribly lonely weekend. I, no kidding, spent an hour watching Pussycat Dolls music videos on YouTube {which doesn’t do much in the way of increasing my self-esteem. Holy abs, Dolls}.

This afternoon I left my house looking like this {hair tucked in hat, sunglasses on} on an emergency hair-dye/makeup miracle in a bottle run, convinced I’d aged 10 years in the last 2 days because I have freaking under-eye bags. And my eyes are seriously never not bloodshot. I always look like I had a rough night, even with 8 hours of sleep. And has my skin always been so… pasty? And today I had entirely too much time to pick myself apart and drove to Target cursing my skin and hair and thighs {cuz why stop at my face?}. We gals have moments like this {at least, I hope I’m not the only one.}

And then after hours in the mirror coloring and scrubbing and polishing and plucking and straightening and such… I have nowhere to go and I’m back to feeling sorry for myself.

Sometimes I feel like I am just the go-to girl when people need manual labor or a designated driver or a proofreader for their resume. Sometimes I feel like I spend so much of my time waiting around for other people to want me around or have time for me. I don’t do things for people because I have an expectation they will return the favor. But I do things for people I care about secretly hoping they would want to return the favor. I’d never ask. I just want someone to want to hang out for a couple hours on a Sunday night.

Thanks, Diary, for listening.

Oh, P.S. They still totally make Lip Smackers. Today I bought the Skittles kinds. They are totally awesome.

Love, Kellie


4 thoughts on “absolutely one of those days”

  1. Man, wish I’d known that. I was having same kind of weekend. I hesitate to call on you, because I assume that you are doing interesting and fun things. So sorry!

  2. When you have days like this, remember that The Pussycat Dolls along with several other celebs out there, are all airbrushed, oiled, and have the money to give themselves implants and and un-natural cosmetic surgeries. In my eye’s, there is nothing more beautiful than natural beauty. If nobody else wants to hang out, become your own best friend! Throw yourself an at-home spa party and paint your nails, give yourself a facial, put cuucumbers on those eye’s, and listen to relaxing music. It’s guaranteed to make you feel beautiful.

    Dear Kellie…You are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are beautiful.

  3. We all have days like that, don’t worry. I totally know what you mean…especially after having a child. Just remember you are very beautiful. You are so creative and such an inspiration in so many ways to me!

  4. Bah. You ladies are awesome. Isn’t it weird how 2 days later I feel so great, like nothing can keep me down? That is so life. Thanks for the nice words, love you all very much!!!

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