company holiday party

My company’s holiday party is tonight. This is {kind of} what I’m wearing.

I am totally nervous because I am on the party planning committee {for the third year in a row}. And I’m responsible for much of the entertainment. We had no budget this year, so instead of hiring DJ talent and giving out fabulous prizes this year, to keep the masses somewhat entertained we made up a few silly games and I am playing recession-friendly-DJ. I am dragging my laptop, with a loose mix of disco favorites, stadium rock anthems, and HR-approved hiphoppy-dance tunes.

I am desperately trying to avoid emcee duties. I am better at publish speaking than I used to be. But, I am certainly not clever or quick when standing in front of a crowd. And when I am – I swear it’s like my brain goes immediately to humor that would violate every HR code of conduct policy. Like literally the first funny thing that pops into my head to say is “OMG how drunk is my boss? How hot does his wife look- DAY-UM!” And our HR specialist knows this and still puts the job in the hands of the 5 people most likely to make people say “oh no they DI-ent!” and embarrass her and everyone in front of “our guests from corporate” because we are the only ones who would agree to do it, knowing there is nothing in it for us, even an extra free drink ticket.

I’ll be matching my boss’s every Xanax with a cocktail.

This might be awesome.



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